The Raccoons: Tying The Knot
by raccoonqueen
Summary: Inspired by Harun85's "Dungeon". A "What If" story, in which Lisa doesn't die. You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of her dreams! First chapter up, more still to come.
1. Chapter 1

THE RACCOONS: TYING THE KNOT

Inspired by the fanfiction "Dungeon" by Harun85

PROLOGUE

Lisa looked at the tin Bert had handed to her. It had makeup, but she wasn't sure whether to put it on or not.

Earlier that day, she arrived at the Raccooniminum to visit Bert. She had a surprise planned for him-a trip to Evergreen Lake on a full moon, where they would sit and gaze at the stars all night. And that's where she planned to give him yet another surprise-she was also going to propose to Bert. But for now, she is looking through a magazine

"So," asked Melissa, putting down the magazine. "Do you want to try it on?"

Lisa hesitated. She looked at the tin, before looking at Melissa. She frowned. Sure, the makeup looked tempting, but something told her that she doesn't need it. All through her life, she had often heard her parents (and Bert) telling her that she don't need to put on makeup just to appear beautiful.

"_Your personality is beautiful enough_," her father would say.

She set the tin on the table and said, "No...I'm fine."

If she had agreed and tried it on anyway, something would happen that could take a turn for the worse. But still, it was the best decision ever made. And like Bert, she couldn't wait for tomorrow...

* * *

I know this chapter's a little short, but that's just only the begining. I'll be coming up with more chapters very soon.

Thanks to Harun85 for giving me the green light to publish this story.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter 1

Another day had passed, and now it was morning. It was Springtime, the happiest season in the Evergreen Forest. But not for Cyril Sneer...

Yesterday, when the pigs had told him that five tickets were mistakenly handed out in the makeup tins instead of 1 in 100, he was cross-VERY cross. All the power needed to make the cosmetics was costing him a lot of heat in the Sneer Mansion; in short, he never liked his son Cedric's suggestion to do so. He ordered the pigs to find all five of the tickets and bring them back...or else.

Cyril had another reason to hate Springtime. He heard a rumor that a new group of people had moved into the Evergreen Forest, and set up shop there. They were the Elwoods: John, Bonnie, and...little Jennifer. He had heard of them so many times before-those family of raccoons probably know their business sense better than him. Then, there was a knock on the door. The pigs went to answer it. After a while, they came back. Floyd said "Boss, there's somebody at the door wanting to speak to you."

The old aardvark went downstairs to the door. Upon opening it, he frowned. A young raccoon girl was standing on the porch. She was wearing a bright pink sweater with a blue miniskirt, and she was carrying a navy-blue backpack on her back. And in her paws was a rolled-up poster. Cyril asked, "Who are you?"

"Hi," the raccoon replied. "I'm Jenny Elwood. Is this the residence of a Mr. Sneer?"

"I _am _Mr. Sneer!" answered Cyril. "Cyril Sneer! And don't you forget it! Now, what do you want?"

"...hmmm, so you're Cyril Sneer. That's a nice name. I'll bet you're wondering why I'm here today. I'm advertising for my parents' new business, selling wedding attire."

She unfurled the poster she was holding and held it out in front to show him. It had a picture of a pair of raccoons, the bride and groom, smiling warmly at each other. She continued, "It's called 'Starlight Bridal Emporium', home of the best wedding gowns and tuxedos in the whole wide world! We cater to everyone's needs, even yours! And don't you worry a thing about our eligibility to do this-we're perfectly licensed."

Cyril fumed. "I'm not interested in your family business! Now, get out, stay out, and don't you dare think about showing up in here ever again-"

The raccoon girl wasn't listening. She had peered inside the mansion. She gasped in amazement and said, "Wow-eee! I never knew you involved yourself in interior decoration, Mr. Sneer! I see an old knight's costume, banners on the stony walls, the way everything's set up...so Renaissance! And..." Upon spying the pigs, she frowned and shook her head. "Ohhh, brother, somebody call the fashion police-we've got an emergency situation involving this couture faux pas!"

She ran over to the pigs to have a closer look. Cyril spluttered, "What in blazes are ya..."

"Mr. Sneer, I have a question," said the girl. "Do you ever, in your life, have to have these pigs dressed up, like THIS? Okay, this is what I'm looking at. First of all, their hats-while they _may_ look cute at the same time, they look rather plain. Soooo yesterday. And that blue-and-green pattern on their sweaters? Boring!"

This made Cyril blow his top. He yelled, "And what makes you think that way?"

"I'm a fashion designer. I know what the people should wear and what they shouldn't wear. And, man, if you must-"

"Out, out, OUT!"

Cyril grabbed the girl and kicked her out the door. He picked up the poster that she had and tore it up in pieces. Then, he added, before slamming the door, "AND DON'T COME BACK!"

The girl got up, dusted herself off, and stared up at the castle. She shrugged and muttered, "Humph...what is up with that old man, anyway?" And she walked away. Back inside the mansion, Cyril had only started calming down from having to deal with the girl when one of the pigs asked him another question. Lloyd asked, "Uh, Boss...do you think the girl's right? That we, uh...look boring to you?"

The aardvark glared at the pigs. That was one question he would not EVEN bother answering. The pigs giggled nervously.

* * *

"Tonight's the night...and this time I'm ready!"

This had been Bert Raccoon's mantra since he woke up that morning. This was it...today he's finally going to do it! Lisa had promised to take him to Evergreen Lake where, he hoped, she would show him "something". Last night, he was nervous-he, too, wanted to show her something in return...something that would bind them together for all eternity. But instead of saying what he wanted to say, he gave her the makeup tin and shied away.

Now he was ready. He was ready to put those four words into action. There's absolutely no way anything could go wrong on that special night.

That afternoon, he stopped by the Evergreen Café to have a bite to eat. While there, he told Schaeffer about his plans for tonight. He said, "This is it, Schaeffer! Tonight, I'm going with Lisa to Evergreen Lake. There'll be the full moon, the crickets, and...and...and..."

"What, Bert?" asked Schaeffer.

"THIS!"

Bert pulled out a ring. It was shiny and it was made out of pure gold. Schaeffer read the inscription imprinted on the ring: "B + L 4 Ever". Bert continued, "I used all of my summer savings to buy this ring and have it engraved. And once I show it to Lisa, she'll...she'll LOVE it!"

"That's very nice of you. When are you going to pro-"

"Hi, Bert!"

Startled out of his wits, Bert yelped and fell back in his chair. He got back up, dusted himself off, and looked up in the direction of the voice. There she was...Lisa Raccoon, his future bride, walking into the restaurant. He said, "Oh, uh, hi, Lisa! W-what are ya...doing here?"

"I came to see how you're doing today," replied Lisa.

"Well, I'm...fine! Yeah, I'm fine! Heh-heh..."

Lisa smiled slyly. "What's the matter, Bert? Are you nervous because of what's coming up tonight? You know what I'm talking about..."

"YES! I mean, no! I'm _not _nervous! I _am _ready to go to Evergreen Lake. I _am _ready for tonight! Y-you'll see!"

"Okay. If you say so."

She walked away from him. Before leaving out the door, she blew him a kiss and said, "Don't forget to bring dinner..." The kiss floated all the way up to Bert and rested on his cheek. He sighed dreamily, before fainting. He muttered to himself, "Yes...tonight...I'll make this the one we'll never forget..."

* * *

The raccoon girl, named Jenny, walked back to her parents' shop. It wasn't very big, but it was nice and pretty, with a sign above it that said "Starlight Bridal Emporium". Inside, the entire shop was teeming with an enormous collection of bridal gowns and tuxedos. They were everywhere-on the racks, on the walls, and on the manniquins. Posters of happy brides and grooms, as well as bridesmaids, maids of honor, best men, and little kids in flower girl and ring bearer costumes, were on the walls. Gentle, easy-listening music flowed through the intercoms, giving the store a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.

In the back room, a female raccoon was repairing a new dress, which was to be displayed in the store the next day. She was a little taller than Jenny, and was in her mid-to-late 40s. Her fur was slightly greying, and had small brown eyes, and had a small pair of pince-nez glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She was wearing a light-blue dress wth a blue coat over it. Her name was Bonnie Elwood, Jenny's mother. As she worked on the dress, she hummed to the tune of "12 Days of Christmas": "On the first day of business the profits gave to me, a handsome price of 130..."

"MOM!"

Startled by the sound of her daughter's voice, Bonnie accidentally pricked her finger with the needle. She yelped in pain. Then, after a while, she answered, "What is it, Jenny?"

Jenny stormed into the back room. An angry frown was on her face. She said, "I can't believe it! I was just telling him about our new shop, and he dropped me! What a jerk..."

"Who did that to you?" asked Bonnie.

"It was that purple aardvark-Mr. Cyril Sneer, I think. He told me he wasn't interested in our plans for our store, and he asked me to scram. But when I commented on the clothes his assistants were wearing, he blew up like a volcano."

"And then what?"

"He threw me out!"

Bonnie sighed. She said, "Jennifer Marie Elwood, just how many times do we have to have this conversation? Our motto is 'Advertise, don't criticise'. It's the most important part in getting the word out safely and politely. I'm appalled at the thought of you berating the pigs for the way they're dressed-you could have hurt the poor things' feelings."

"I know, Mom," replied Jenny. "But, I just couldn't help it. I've always wanted to be a fashion designer when I grow up. It was my dream to make the clothes people would want to wear."

Bonnie nodded, and went to place the dress on the counter. "I understand, dear. But for now, you're the apprentice. You're just too young and too inexperienced to start branching out on your own." She added with a smile, "Maybe one day you'd open up your own shop, just like this one, and be famous all over the world with whatever you may come up with. By he way, did you make any new friends in the forest?"

Jenny hesitated, before replying, "No, Mom...not at the moment. Maybe later." She walked off, leaving her mother to remove the creases of the dress. She went to her room and flopped down on her bed. Ever since she and her family left Los Angeles to move to the Evergreen Forest, she had been in a state of mourning. Mourning for her friends...for her old house...and for the metropolitan lifestyle she had left behind. What else is there to do for an American raccoon to live out the rest of her life in the Canadian countryside?

"...I think I'll go and draw."

She reached under the bed and took out her sketchbook. Then, she grabbed her pencil, colored pencils, crayons, pens, and erasers. She pulled out a page from the sketchbook, took a pencil, sharpened it, and started drawing. As she did so, several thoughts came into her mind: "Who am I? Where did I come from? What was I put on earth to do? And why?"

Her answer was this: "Because I wanted to be a fashion designer."

* * *

The warm sunny day soon turned into night. The bright full moon was out, and the crickets were making their nighttime music. The perfect night for Bert to carry out his long-awaited plan. He was in his room, checking his appearance in the mirror. Smoothing out his red-and-yellow sweater with a big "B", he made a mental checklist of what he and Lisa were going to need for the trip to Evergreen Lake. Favorite outfit...check. Picnic basket with food and a blanket...check. Engagement ring...check. He was prepped and ready.

"Bert! Lisa's here!"

He went downstairs to the living room, where Ralph, Melissa, and Lisa were waiting. Ralph asked, "Are you sure you haven't forgotten anything?"

"Nope, not at all," replied Bert. "Everything's with me. I'll make sure that this will be the greatest night ever!"

Soon, Bert and Lisa were walking outside together in the forest. They finally came upon Evergreen Lake, and once the spot was chosen, Bert took out the blanket and placed it on the ground. They sat by the lake, enjoying the view of the stars above and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Then, they gazed up at the moon, its brightness gleaming upon the lake. The sound of the crickets, the brightness of the stars, and the beauty of the moon gave off a soothing and romantic ambiance in the area. Now, Bert became confident enough to put his goal into action. He turned to Lisa and whispered, "You know? Lisa, I've been thinking about this for some time. You see...ever since the first time I met you at the train station, you were always on my mind. I just couldn't stop thinking about you-I dreamed about you day and night, nonstop. We've been together for a long time, and it's plain to see that we were meant for each other. That's what I had told you during our first date, remember? Now, it's about time we started our lives off to a brand-new start. So, Lisa...the love of my life..."

He took out the ring, meaning to present it to her. At about the same time, Lisa reached into her pocket and got out another ring, this time a different one. They said in unison (much to each other's surprise), "Will you marry me?"

They both gasped. They looked at the rings, before looking back at each other. Bert sid, "Gee...I didn't know you were going to...propose to me. I-I thought I was going to propose to you!"

"Well, it _was _a surprise," answered Lisa. She smiled at him and said, "But since it turned out that way...then of course, I'll marry you!" She hugged and kissed him. Bert blushed. His plan worked! He got himself to actually propose to his sweetheart. He hugged her back, gave her the ring, and replied, "And I accept your proposal with pleasure."

Lisa gave him her ring. Bert looked at it for a while, before becoming confused. "Wait a minute...this is not a real ring. What is it?"

She blushed. "It's a...plastic ring, from out of a cereal box. I couldn't afford to get you a real one, so this was it."

Bert laughed and hugged her anyway. It was, by far, the best engagement ring he had ever received.

* * *

The second chapter's done, so now it's on to the third one. Let the race to the altar begin!


End file.
